I'm sure I'm not alone when I mention that to this day I still keep secrets to myself about my own dreams and aspirations and things that niggle at me because I have always loved them and always sort after them in a child like manner, that remains in my child like head, that even as a child I would not mention. I can see now that if I had mentioned it all those years ago growing up it would possibly not have pestered me all this time, and instead could have been at least an attempt... but instead I've kept it quiet. Those silly things we laugh off, and even if we do mention it we laugh because it is such an absurd concept and such a far out thing that we are so scared of someones response that so long as it's not said seriously, they won't believe you are serious, all can laugh except that small child who cries a little and curses the voice that made it heard because it breaks it just a tad! It's all rather sad because this is what keeps us going, this is the sparkle in the eye, this is what makes us unique and beautiful. Of course this does not mean I'm going to share any such thing, it simply means that I probably should.
Isn't jealousy a horrible thing. It can bring about bitterness and resentment which the unsuspecting do not deserve and are possibly unaware. Jealousy breeds ugliness if it's not harnessed and redistributed as appreciation and inspiration.
In other news, as my jumbo soy cap has given me the ability to ramble on about messy things at the moment, I burnt my feet yesterday. I didn't just burn them, ouch, the ground was hot. I
burnt them.
Blistered them. Both of feet are currently sporting large blisters over the bottom of them. Walking down to the beach yesterday for my jumbo soy cap and possibly a swim (first one of the season!) my thongs were rubbing on my foot and giving me a blister on top of my foot, being lazy and not wanting to walk back home to change them I decided to test it bare foot as each year over summer I usually live with out shoes. The ground seemed not to be that hot, so I carried on holding my thongs. By the time I was down the street I realised that my feet were actually in a fair bit of pain and put the thongs back on and kept walking to the shops and the beach. By the time I reached the bakery I was in large amounts of pain and walking awkwardly... by the time I'd received the goods I could hardly walk and made it to a tree where I sat, drank and ate and dreaded the thought of walking back. As there was no other way I was going to make it home I had to power on and walk... the open sore on top of my foot from the thongs didn't bother me on the way back! I walked in the door, took the thongs off, got ice out of the freezer and stuck it in a bag, lay on the couch with my feet on the ice . This morning I drained the blisters, it's a tad better to walk on now.
This would be all fine and dandy if it was the first (and last) time I'd ever done it. But it's not! I did it in Thailand last year as well, they popped while I walked and carried the kayak through the middle of the busy market stalls after my friends and I had underestimated just how much time it would take us to go the entire way around the island and instead had to cut through the middle to return the kayak. So that's twice. But even before that incidence I'd done it on one of my many reckless adventures (I really miss those adventures). As it is only just November, and not even summer yet I'm wondering if this is going to be a one off? I would like to say yes, however I live just up the road from the beach and I really don't like having things to carry around the beach so there's a distinct possibility that it won't be.
Wowee, of all the exciting tales I could have told I talked about blistered feet. In keeping with the theme... my housemate and I abandoned our walking routing last night in favour of push ups and sit ups which we haven't tried yet in our exercise regime. So while our pizza's cooked, we were on the tiles attempting this. As neither of us have fantastic upper body strength we ended up on the ground many a time until we decided not to keep going with it because "the floor smells funny". Indeed the floor did smell funny, and on closer inspection it was discovered that it smelt just like dirty socks. In all honesty it has never occurred to me that the floor would smell like dirty socks or dirty feet for that matter... it was disgusting and enough motivation for me to mop it this morning.
Yesterday was a year smoke-free! It seems unfair that I'd still love to pick up a pack, sit down and chain smoke on the beach. However it does feel fantastic and I don't feel like I will actually give in now... now time to counteract the ramifications of quitting! Get my fitness on and eat well!
I enjoy listening to Bon Iver's music. Skinny Love is especially lovely.
